Saturday, 2 March 2013

OHP gig, Rory, the etiquette of peeing oneself



I always forget! I mean, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the sharpest cornflake in the toolshed, but surely something that crops up every year and lasts over two months is likely to make an impression. In my defense, it hardly happened at all last year. Still though...

I am referring of course to the January/Febuary slump that hits musicians (and everyone else) every year with the force of a hurled plaster bust of Seth McFarlane, with approximately the same comedic effect, which is to say, no comedic effect. Luckily, the early months of a fledgling 2013 have been peppered with lovely gigs that, if not keeping my pockets jingling (which reminds me, has anyone seen my keys?), are certainly keeping a smile on my face and whatever orifice the body uses to store artistic pride full of same. Last week saw Fast.Like.Fun get in the Funmobile (it's actually a red Transit van) and head to Waterford for a gig in a lovely little venue called Murphy's (just opposite the bus station if you're in the area). All and sundry had a great time. Ohio the OHP cello-meister came up to see us, in the company of his mother and sister who are over from the States visiting their no-good son/ ne'er-do-well brother. I also had a chance to catch up with some friends from college, which was long overdue, and really added to the friendly atmosphere of the gig.

Another rockin rollicking good time was had last wednesday, when One Horse Pony finally played a gig in the Crane Lane. You've heard me talking about the place many times at this stage. It's a place I've been playing for years with various different bands. Last wednesday's performance could well have been my favorite performance there to date. The difference between the youtube clips I sent the booking agent (clips which are over a year old) and the band that we have become is profound. The visual difference is as good as any to illustrate just how much we've grown. The clip featured meself, Badger, Harmonica Niall and a guest drummer dishing it out goodo. Plenty of energy, good music and much shape-throwing to get the crowd into the spirit of things. By comparison, the band that played on Wednesday featured guitars, harmonica, bodhran (the lovely Irish traditional drum made from dead animal), cello, low whistle and harmonica (courtesy of Kev, our new brother-in-arms). Seated in a horseshoe shape rather than standing, but still giving out goodo and relying solely on the music to speak for itself and get people going was the order of the day. It worked. Five-part harmonies? More or less, yeah! We were lucky to be playing to a large crowd (who wasted no time in showing off their excellent dancing abilities), and we were well-rehearsed, tight and comfortable. But you know what? Excellent performances from everyone, a great crowd, a happy venue, a few fluff-ups that made us giggle and every other facet that makes a great gig great will forever be eclipsed in my memory by what happened after the gig.

So let me set the scene. The bouncers are clearing everyone out. We're all hanging out at the back of the smoking section close to the cigarette machine and the toilets, having a well deserved cigarette and a bit of communal back-patting session (that sounds bad, but isn't). A girl, having dodged the army of eight foot bouncers, made her way towards us and started talking what can best be described as gibberish. Fair enough, we go along with it and whole-heartedly concur with all the bits we can understand, and generally agree that yes, on balance her boyfriend is a twat, her friends are an awful shower, and, all things considered, her shoes ARE very nice. She then unceremoniously pissed herself.

The tomes of social etiquette are silent on what to do in this situation. Naturally if the person in question looks justifiably mortified, you assure him/her that these things happen to the best of us, and they're among friends. If it happens to be a very pretty girl doing the peeing, I (being the chivalrous type) might even pee my own pants in solidarity and sympathy. That's not quite true, but a little giggle-inducing to think about. The girl in question however, did not look shocked or embarrassed, but instead comported herself as you would stubbing out a cigarette or checking the time; a perfectly understandable reason for briefly stopping the flow of conversation, and best done quickly and efficiently, so as not to delay the chat. I took this opportunity to make an exit, owing to a deep-seated belief that incontinence is contagious.

Fast.Like.Fun were in operation last night supporting Irish metal heavyweights Time Is A Thief. We had a great gig with a great response from the attending rawkers *devil horns rock gesture thing* but it was the second time in as many gigs I've had a glaringly bad 'pedalboard malfunction' which is a little like a wardrobe malfunction, but with marginally less nipple. At the crucial time, instead of hitting the 'makey-louder' pedal I accidentally pressed the 'mutey-poo' one. These are technical terms. Yep, still not brightest bridge in the box, but now I have an excuse to spend a few hours industriously mucking about with my pedalboard. I can positively feel the envy radiating off you.

On a slightly strange note, I just realized (mostly because facebook just told me) that it's Rory Gallagher's birthday today. Being from his hometown, and a blues-rocker at heart, I'm a tremendous fan of Rory, spent many an hour learning some of his solos note for note (or so I thought at the time... I was but a young'un) and cut my teeth in a blues bar founded in his honour. In that blues bar, I first performed in public and, especially significantly today, fronted a band for the first time, on Rory's birthday. That would have been this day six years ago. Teehee. It's coming up to 9pm at time of writing, and it doesn't take a colossal leap of imagination to think of my younger self completely shitting it, half an hour away from playing a gig with my first full blues band. It went pretty well as I recall. At some stage I'll sit down and write an entry about Rory. He's certainly a guy worth talking about. For now, happy birthday Rory! You're missed.

That's all for the moment, guys. I'm off to play a game of Hunt The Keys.

Thanks for reading. More to come :-)
R

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